


A Guide To Learning To Love

by dcnwilds



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, I appear with a random fic after a year, I like this aaaa, SOFT GAYS, kind of poetry/prose idk, laila overcomes her Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 09:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14162292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcnwilds/pseuds/dcnwilds
Summary: Alvarez kisses her, soft lips and soft curves, on a Thursday night.





	A Guide To Learning To Love

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a poem, kind of a fic? My take on how my favourite exy lesbians got together, would definitely appreciate feedback!

i  
laila has become accustomed to falling asleep eyes shut, heart open, thinking of alvarez, the girl who she doesn’t think will ever be hers. in her dreams, alvarez’s head is on her lap and laila’s hands are in her hair, and one of life’s cruelties is to have to awake in the early hours of the morning, when the sun is low and her hopes are lower, wishing she could be something more.

ii  
alvarez kisses her, soft lips and soft curves, on a thursday night. she tastes like the vodka and coke she'd been drinking all night, like loneliness and love, and it’s a toxic combination. but it doesn’t mean anything, laila swears she will tell herself as long as she lives, because she knows better than to believe in hope after too many years of the bitter aftertaste of regret. 

iii  
laila is beginning to feel as if perhaps she could be loved, and it makes her understand how the waves feel when they crash into the shore — chaotic and powerful and infinite — and she can’t quite fight the feeling that maybe she’s a little closer to being okay, and that it could be because of the way alvarez looks at her when she thinks laila isn’t looking. 

iv  
laila spends christmas at alvarez's house, in a small flat full of people who take up space with love. because there is some love, laila has decided, that is simply too much, it takes up space in a room, and this new york cramped apartment is overflowing. she thinks of the mansion where she spent her childhood, now left with only empty rooms and an emptier man, and it is devoid. she realises it isn’t supposed to be that way.

v  
they are in california again, but too often, alvarez ends up in laila's bed, or laila in alvarez's, and they lay tangled together, hearts beating the same rhythm, cotton sheets beneath laila's hand, alvarez's hand above. the silence says all the words they can’t yet, enveloping them, and laila finds herself unsure how she ever drifted away without alvarez next to her.

vi  
laila is in love and it doesn’t feel like too much anymore. she isn’t drowning in herself, and knows now that she never was. she still falters sometimes, still feels that all encompassing fear from time to time, but alvarez’s touch and words and lips steady her, and she accepts that she has found a new kind of home.


End file.
